Dizzy With a Dame
by SpitfireShippersAnonymous
Summary: The year is 1923 and Gotham is hopping with cats and dames, but when the exuberant Wallace West lays eyes on Artemis Crock in the city's finest speakeasy, the young man's life takes a turn toward the dangerous. Suggested by everyone. AU. Pairings: Wally/Artemis, SuperMartian, Dick/Zee, Dick/Babs, and Roy/Jade.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: We do not own Young Justice or any of it's characters. Nor do we own the Birds of Prey song from Batman: The Brave and the Bold.**

**Dizzy with a dame- _to be deeply in love with a woman._**

**Young Justice, Prohibition era AU. Let the fun and begin! ;)**

**o.o.o.o**

**_Written by Dott, TheRantDragon, Chaneldancegrl, and IronicVeghead_**

**o.o.o.o**

_Gotham City: July 25, 1923_

_o.o.o_

It was hot, even for Gotham this time of year. The air was muggy and humid, and the brown smog that so often choked the city was thicker than ever. Wallace West wiped the back of his neck with his kerchief and checked his rolled up sleeves. He forced them up further passed his freckled elbows in the hopes it would help.

_Damn_, was it hot.

Wallace pondered his options for getting out of the heat and smog and bustle, finally pulling out his pocket watch and deciding that it was not too early for a drink(it was _never _too early or late for a drink). Taking stock of his location, he redirected his path towards the Wayne building.

The noise of cars honking and screeching in mid day traffic was deafening. Wallace waited until there was some semblance of safety on the street before starting across, almost immediately regretting it when he heard a screech and a female voice hurl an insult his way. He turned to see the car speed off in the direction of the Wayne building with its lone occupant's hair streaming out the window. He chuckled to himself at the angry dame and kept walking.

_That girl had long hair for a flapper_, he thought mildly.

Upon arrival at the Wayne building, Wallace noticed the car that had almost run him over parked by the door to the _Cave_. He saw Richard's enforcers wandering around the door area and knew that the place was already hopping.

Wallace checked his surroundings out of habit, a nervous tick developed by those who dared journey to speakeasies. It wouldn't do well for the business or one's health to be followed by the wrong people. Deciding that he was in the clear, he shoved his hands beneath his suspenders and strolled purposefully up to the short line of people waiting to get admittance.

"Next!" barked the bruno at the door. Wallace narrowed his eyes in intense dislike as he recognized the voice: Logan. He was a real sap, only let the most beautiful dames in and gave everyone else a hard time; in short, if he didn't deem you a doll, you might as well turn around and head home.

Logan's current victim was the young woman from the car; she was easily recognizable with that hair. The bruno was openly leering at her green sequined dress, no doubt picturing what was underneath it and the bandages. Wallace observed the woman, noticing Logan's eyes traveling over her hips and locking in on her chest.

"Well, well!" Logan slurred, and Wallace realized with a scowl that he was zozzled, to boot. "Look at the bubs on this kitten, Jaime!"

The man standing on the opposite side of the door was looking incredibly uncomfortable and apologetic to the dame being tortured. Wallace didn't blame him, he'd be ashamed of having to work alongside a rummy like Logan, too.

The dame scowled, clearly not liking being piped by the man. Wallace was about to go up to the enforcer and tell him to back down and that no woman would ever go with him, when the girl did his work for him. Her frown turned into a grin and she sauntered towards Logan, her hips swaying.

When she was close enough, she braced herself on his shoulders and forced her knee into his stomach.

"Lincoln's beard!" Logan wheezed out, his mouth dropping open in surprise and pain as the girl spun around his awkward retaliation and planted a solid punch on his jaw. This dropped the guy, knocking his green trilby off his head and into the girl's waiting hands. She flipped the hat onto her head, winked at Jaime, and walked into the _Cave_.

Wallace's mouth fell agape. Had his eyes deceived him, or had he just witnessed some bearcat of a dame playing a solid note of chin music on Logan the Bruno? He heard loud whistles of approval from some of the men that had come up behind him in the line, and couldn't help but agree with their sentiments.

"Ah, n-next," came Jaime's hesitant voice as he side-stepped over to Logan's previous position and allowed the next patron in with a nod from his head; Logan was being sick over in the corner, hunched down and heaving the contents of his alcohol filled belly all over the steaming asphalt. Wallace smirked.

It wasn't long before Wallace had been admitted into the hall beyond the first door. He knew his way around here well, what with being best pals with the owner and all. He straightened his gray fedora, making his way down a flight of steps and then another, until at long last he reached a long, dimly lit hallway with a door and another bruno guarding it. He grinned at this one, though, jogging the last few steps and greeting him cheerily.

"Well, if it isn't the big six himself!" he cried jovially, socking the man on the arm. The man, Conner, merely grunted in response, crossing his arms over his barrel-chest.

"What's the time?" he asked gruffly. Wallace deflated. What a wet blanket

"Always straight to the point..." he grumbled, pulling out his pocket watch and adjusting the time with the knob residing at the top. Once it read 10:47 p.m, he held it up to Conner's nose so that he had to cross his blue eyes to see it.

"You can go in..." the bruno relented, stepping aside.

Wallace slipped passed, sighing at all the trouble he had to go through just to get himself a cold cocktail on a hot summer's day. Sometimes he wondered if Conner was a bit of a palooka... he hardly ever spoke and when he did it was always so cut and dry. Didn't that cat know how to string a whole sentence together?

He shrugged it off, walking through the door into the bar. As soon as the door shut behind him, a hand clapped him on his back.

"Wally, bo, how you doin'?" Richard said.

Wally grinned and returned the sentiment to his best friend with a hearty handshake. "Good to see you again, Dick. It's been too long since I last set foot in Gotham."

The friends nodded in agreement. Wally followed Dick to the bar and smiled when the bartender placed his favorite drink in front of him. Wally tipped back the mint julep and downed the entire thing in one gulp, enjoying the cool burn as it traveled down his throat. The glass clinked on the granite bar as Wally surveyed the clientele of _The Bat Cave_, the most exclusive speakeasy in town. There was Conner's squeeze, Megan; Dick's dames, Zee and Babs; the smarty number that beat up Logan the Bruno; and the Big O and his canary.

"Would you care for another julep, Wallace?" Kaldur asked in his calm, even tones as he retrieved the redhead's glass and began wiping it down with a rag. Wally put him a tip on the counter and winked.

"Make it two, would ya', Kal?"

"Don't tell me you've already scoped out a doll?" Dick said, exasperated. He eyed his pal over the tops of his glinting cheaters. "I think that's record timing, you cake-eater!"

Wally grinned at him and shrugged his shoulders, pulling the fedora from his head and placing it on the bar stool he was standing in front of. He ran his fingers through his thick locks, giving his pal an impish wink.

"What can I say, bo, the dames come runnin'!" He punctuated this by tucking his thumbs beneath his suspenders and tugging them up a pinch. Dick rolled his eyes skyward.

"Look, just don't cause a ruckus and get thrown out again. I can't keep vouching for you to get back in here if you keep harassing the ladies."

Wally ignored his friend's warning, picking up both fresh juleps in each hand and taking a generous sip from one.

"Watch my fedora for me, Kaldur. That one's my favorite!" he said, before turning on his heel and striding over to where the woman in green was seated, the one who had socked Logan in the face out front. She hadn't been hard for him to spot; her darker skin and long blonde mane stuck out like a sore thumb in a place like this. He had to suppress a laugh at the sight of Logan's trilby perched lopsidedly on her cranium.

Wally walked up to the table that the girl was sitting at and set the two drinks down. The blonde looked up at the redhead with a questioning expression on her face, eyebrow raised. Wallace leaned on the back of the chair opposite the girl and smiled as delightfully as he could. He opened his mouth to talk to her, but she held up her hand, reaching for one of the drinks with the other. She knocked back the julep and grabbed the second one without missing a beat.

Wallace was at a loss for words, his eyebrows shooting up as the woman placed the second glass down on the table without a word. He eyed the empty receptacle that had moments ago contained his beverage before sitting back in his chair, straightening his tie and clearing his throat. (He had the sneaking suspicion that Dick was watching all this from the bar, and had probably had to excuse himself somewhere more private to laugh his silly head off.)

"So..." Wallace began, but was cut off by the girl.

"Thanks for the drink, bo," she said in a voice that startled him. It was high and husky, a far cry from the voices he was accustomed to hearing float passed the lips of beautiful dolls . "But if you're trying to get me back to yours, good luck."

Wallace's eyebrows shot up and his ears turned red. Sure, he'd had plenty of dames, but not one had called him out on being a cake-eater. That was Dick's job, and he took pleasure in it.

"No! That's not what I-" he stammered. The girl raised her eyebrow skeptically. Wallace sighed, "Look, that was pretty swell how you beat up Logan back there. He's a first rate sap."

The girl nodded, and motioned for Wallace to sit down. He did so in the chair opposite and introduced himself.

"I'm Wallace West, by the way. Or, you can call me Wally. Or _The Wall-man_."

The woman sniggered at the last name he had listed. When she opened her mouth to speak, a full out cackle streamed out of her mouth and she caught with her hand, though she did a poor job of stifling it. Wally's ears got even pinker at this show of derisive amusement and he sunk back into his chair.

_Boy, Wallace, you sure can pick 'em. Dick's going to kick off from laughter when he hears about this babe._

Once the girl had recovered, she introduced herself.

"I'm Artemis Cr- Just Artemis. I have no nickname and if you ever even think of calling me 'Arty' I'll make damn well sure that you swing."

Wally gulped, making a mental note to never get on this girl's bad side. He knew that her threat was not idle; he had seen with his own two eyes what she did to Logan, a bird twice her size.

The two lapsed into a kind of uncomfortable silence, and Wally was wondering just where the hell he had gone so wrong with this woman, and why she had to be so difficult compared to his usual catch. What had he been thinking, hitting on a woman that had punched out a man and sashayed in like she owned the place? For some reason, the thought irritated him.

And if he was being honest he was sore at himself(and at her) for striking out with this dame before he'd even stepped up to bat. His ego had been wounded.

"You know, I've never seen you in here, before," he blurted, lifting one of his legs up to cross it over the other. "Where'd you get the password at? Not just anyone can get in here, you know."

Artemis bristled.

"I don't think that's any of your business, _Wall-man_."

"The hell it's not," he laughed wryly, eyes darting down to his parched cocktail glass and wishing she hadn't downed the thing for him. "I'm pals with the owner, he tells me about all the new cats and skirts that show up to this joint. So?"

She popped up from her seat, mouth open to give him a heated retort, but at that moment the lights in the establishment dimmed and a spotlight was trained on the little stage at the far end of the room. There, at the center and situated in front of a microphone, was Dick in a black suit, his cheaters winking and shining in the lights as he grinned out at everyone.

"Ladies and gents, bims and eggs! For your entertainment on this fine, blistering afternoon, for your viewing enjoyment, the lovely twists, Zatanna Zatara, Megan Morse, and Barbara "Babs" Gordon!"

The smattering of patrons clapped and cheered and whistled, some of the more drunken ones raising glasses high and slopping giggle water all down their fronts in the process. Dick excused himself from the limelight as Zatanna emerged on the stage, her sequins and tailcoat glittering fantastically to more cheers. Wally was a bit enamored; he loved the entertainment at _The Bat Cave_, it was always of the highest quality.

Wallace shot Artemis a pointed look in the dark, one that clearly conveyed he wasn't yet done interrogating her on her admittance to this ritzy and glamorous speakeasy. As much as he admired her exotic beauty and ability to kiss men that far outweighed her, he had never been fond of strange new people or places in his life.

As Dick was always saying, Wally sure had a knack for overreacting to the simplest of changes.

The spotlight shifted to the band and focused on Kaldur and his sax. Before he and the rest of the band started to play, Zatanna walked back through the curtain. Dick left the stage and the band started to play.

Zatanna reappeared, bursting out of the curtain with a flash. She opened her mouth and started to sing: "Good evening all you gentlemen, mobsters, creeps and crooks."

There was a rustle behind the curtain and another girl burst out, this one with red hair. Wally couldn't tell if it was Babs or Meg because of the lighting and elaborate masks that the redheads wore; it was usually duck soup to distinguish Megan's auburn locks from Bab's deeper red. As soon as she opened her mouth, however, Wally easily pegged the alto as Dick's squeeze.

"Men in suits come after you, and still you're off the hook."

Meg followed Babs onstage with her introducing line.

"For those who scare and terrorize, it's the dawn of a brand new day"

All three girls struck a pose, and sang the next line of the song together.

"You scum can simply call us, the one and only Birds of Prey."

Whistles and catcalls echoed throughout the drum.

Zatanna raised her right hand, fluttering her fingers.

"Hal Jordan has his special ring."

"Pretty strong that little thing," added Babs and Megan with a wink.

Megan gave the crowd a charming smile.

"Jaime's deeds are really swell." At this the doorman blushed bright red and Conner scowled in his general direction, the two of them having come in for a break from the heat.

Babs and Zatanna shared looks, placing their pointer fingers nears their mouths in mock curiosity.

"But who will bring him out of his shell?"

"Logan's beaus, they finish last" sang Zatanna.

"Too bad sometimes he's just too fast," added Babs with a snarky grin as the whole audience burst into raucous laughter; Wally in particular found this hilarious, and he thought he could hear the sound of Artemis' throaty chortles coming from somewhere to his left, mixing in with his hearty guffaws.

The girls came together again and waltzed around the stage.

"While all the boys can always save the day. No one does it better than the Birds of Prey. The one and only Birds of Prey." They turned to face the crowd, rolling their shoulders to the beat as they continued the chorus. "While all the boys can always save the day. No one does it better than the Birds of Prey. The one and only Birds of Prey."

"Get hot!" came the loud, hiccuping cry of a hoary-eyed man at the very back of the room. Everyone laughed, even the girls on stage who had trouble stifling brief, light giggles at the encouragement to dance more.

Zatanna sauntered back over to the microphone and started the second verse of the song.

"The Big O's got heroic traits, that is when he's drilling straight," she proclaimed.

There was a booming howl of laughter from one of the tables closest to the stage when the businessman in question heard _that _particular line in the song. His girl, Dinah, stood up and shouted at Zatanna in good humor. "Hey!"

"I'm just sayin'!" Zatanna responded. This elicited another laugh from the crowd. Wally was sure that he heard Artemis snorting louder than the rest of the room.

Meg mosied forward again, singing the next line, closely followed by Babs, their voices complementing and working off each other well as they trilled up through the walls of the speakeasy.

"Arthur Curry's always courageous"

"His little fish, less outrageous"

Meg pushed her counterparts aside and spread her arms wide, heedless of the fact that her lime green cloche hat was in danger of falling off; the other two girls joining her after her line.

"Eel O'Brian can expand!"

"Becomes putty in our hands"

The girls formed a line again as they swung back into the chorus.

"While all the boys can keep you punks at bay, no one does it better than the Birds of Prey. The one and only Birds of Prey!

They repeated the line and each took a turn to wink at Dick behind the bar. Being the cat he was, he took it upon himself to push his cheaters down and wink right back(Wallace was going to have to remember to call Dick out on his antics tonight the next time he threw around the term "cake-eater" at him). Zatanna blew him a kiss and continued the song with a line that would have made a lesser man blush.

"Grayson runs this bar, sure thing. I've seen his weapons, what a thing."

Babs followed her up with a kiss to Dick and a glare in the dark haired girl's direction, one that went largely unnoticed in the intoxicated atmosphere. Wally was among those that caught it, though, and he rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, chuckling. Dick and his dame problems.

"Check out that _utility _belt, sure can make a girl's heart melt. He's always right here for the save, I like it here in his secret cave!"

All three girls formed a line for the last time and started to kick along to the last chorus of the song.

"While Dicky does things in his special way, he'd do it better with the Birds of Prey. The one and only Birds of Prey.

"While Grayson always seems to save the day, no one does it better, no one does it better than the Birds of Prey... Birds of Prey... YEAH!"

The canaries finished up the song with a bang and a flash of smoke. They disappeared back into the curtain to thunderous applause and booze spraying into the air, courtesy of a couple of boozehounds who'd tipped a few too many for the afternoon.

Wally was in high spirits, clapping and cheering along with everyone else, perhaps wishing his cheeks were a little more flushed from the cocktail he never got to drink. But nonetheless, he swiveled around in his seat, unable to wipe the massive grin from his face as he turned to say something to Artemis; he wasn't even sure what. Perhaps to get back to his interrogation of her, or to see her face light up as she laughed along with him.

But her seat was empty.

The young man's face fell, taking in the sight of the empty cocktail glasses still sitting where she'd left them, and the indentation on the soft seat where her rump had rested moments before.

_Where'd she go? _he thought, exasperated. He'd heard her laughter emanating from the spot mere seconds ago! _That is one slippery dame..._

Scowling, the redhead pulled himself to his feet, intent on marching over to the bar, retrieving his fedora, and complaining about the sorts of crazy broads Dick was starting to let into a fine juice joint like the _Cave_.

But something stopped him, as the lights came back on and everything became illuminated.

It was the sight of Artemis.

Artemis and Dick, whispering intently behind the counter of the bar, Kaldur leaning in and listening steadily as he went through the nearly robotic motions of cleaning the inside of a smudged glass. Dick's brows were furrowed deeply, and Artemis' movements had become more animated, more urgent, her lips informing Wally that she was talking very fast.

Wallace's eyes narrowed.

Dick was looking gravely serious, his face growing stony as he listened further to the exasperated woman. It was an expression Wally knew his best friend rarely pulled.

Obviously this Artemis chick had more than a spine of steel.

Oh. He was _definitely _going to figure this out.

**o.o.o.o**

**Vocab used:**

_dame_- a woman

_doll_- a cute woman

_flapper_- a woman in a short dress

_bruno_- bouncer

_sap_- a dumb guy

_zozzled_- drunk

_bubs_- boobs

_kitten_- woman

_rummy_- a drunken bum

_pipe_- see or notice

_bearcat_- a hot-blooded or fiery girl

_chin music_- punch on the jaw

_big six_- strong man

_palooka_- man, probably a little stupid

_cat_- man

_bo_- pal, buster, fellow

_squeeze_- girlfriend

_smarty_- a cute flapper

_canary_- woman singer

_cheaters_- sunglasses

_cake-eater_- a lady's man

_swing_- hang

_bird_- man

_kick off_- die

_bim_- woman

_egg_- man

_twist_- woman

_giggle water_- booze

_kiss_- to punch

_duck soup_- easy, a piece of cake

_drum_- speakeasy

_hoary-eyed_- drunk

_Get hot!- _encouragement for a hot dancer doing his or her thing

_drilling_- shooting

_boozehound_- drunkard

_tip a few_- to have a few drinks

_broad_- woman

_juice joint_- speakeasy


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We do not own Young Justice or any of its characters.**_  
_

**We're really having way too much fun with this! Hope you guys enjoy this next installment, we're putting a lot of work and affection into this! Each and every review is greatly appreciated and keeps us motivated, so thanks for all the support!**

**Just a heads up: by the time the third chapter has rolled around, this story will be upped to an 'M' rating for sexual escapades and situations. **

**On with the show and the fun lingo!**

**o.o.o.o**

**_Written by TheRantDragon, Dottoraqn, and IronicVeghead._  
**

**_o.o.o.o_**

_Gotham City: August 1, 1923_

_o.o.o_

Warm sunlight streamed in through the broken and battered old blinds, motes of dust swirling in the light on its path to shine down on the freckled back of Wallace West. He was entangled in the thin white sheets of his bed, one arm hanging off the edge of the mattress so that his fingertips kissed the floor. His hair was sticking up everywhere, and he was drooling all over his pillow, mouth wide.

A loud Flivver horn from outside on the street below jerked him awake. He groaned, brought his palms up to flatten over his sensitive ears, suddenly wishing he hadn't binged himself into a stupor the night before; Kaldur had reluctantly supplied him with every alcoholic drink he'd asked for, and he had asked for _a lot_. For some reason, Wallace had always had a hard time getting bent.

Not that he got bent, often. Last night had been a special case.

Wally attempted to peel his tired eyes open, but the sunlight was blinding and sent a vicious pounding through his skull. Another pitiful groan escaped his lips as he rolled himself over, flipping himself off into the floor with a dull thud. He lay there for a few minutes, breathing deeply and working on getting his emerald eyes open so that he could start his hungover day.

It took a while, but at long last he maneuvered his body up off the floor and stretched, popping his back and pulling the suspenders of his pants up over his bare shoulders. Fingers drug through wild hair, a monstrous yawn following suit, and when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror near his bedroom door, he blanched.

"Boy, do I ever look like a rag-a-muffin," Wally murmured, noticing the deep bags underneath his eyes. "That's the last time I let Dick talk me into a drinking contest with Conner, that cat sure knows how to knock a few back."

Wally sighed and picked up the old white shirt he must've discarded last night before passing out and slipped it back on as he nudged out of his bedroom and into the hallway. He padded down the hall, buttoning his shirt the whole way, and when at last he took the time to look up and survey his surroundings, it was to find Dick sprawled out and snoring on his couch.

Wallace raised an eyebrow, casually plucking the pillow from behind Dick's head so that his skull thunked back onto the hard armrest.

"Hey! What gives?" the raven-haired young man shouted indignantly, sitting up as he rubbed at his head. Wally tossed the pillow into his lap.

"What are you doing here, bo?" he inquired, ignoring the headache that was rapidly worsening.

Dick shrugged.

"I had to escort you home last night so the coppers wouldn't catch your smoked ass," he answered simply.

Wally scratched at his scalp, turning to head toward the kitchen; he heard Dick get up off the couch and follow him.

"What about Conner?"

Dick snorted.

"Conner can hold more liquor than you, that's for sure. But he went over the edge with rams. Poor Megan had to get him home last night, ha."

Wally frowned momentarily at the thought of someone as dainty as the flapper girl having to support a big lug like Conner all the way home in the dark. Then he shook his head and realized she'd probably driven them home, and an amusing thought popped into his head.

"Bird keeps drinking like that and he'll have himself a nice Alderman."

"I could say the same to you, boozehound," Dick retorted, cheaters glinting maliciously.

Wally scowled, dragged himself into the kitchen, and started to make himself and Dick some java. While looking for the tin of ground coffee, Wally crashed into the table, cursing as he slipped and wound up on the floor. Dick walked over and looked down at him, cackling. Wally groaned and let his head fall back against the floor in defeat.

"I'm hit! Dick, go on without me," he redhead moaned from the ground. Dick laughed and stepped over his fallen companion, pulling all of the coffee requirements out of the cupboard and setting them on the counter. He put the filter in the top of the jug, set a pot on the stove to boil, and leaned down to help his friend up.

While trying to get up off the floor, Wally succeeded in banging his head on the stove and his shoulder on a chair, eventually winding up back on the floor. Dick couldn't help himself and burst into peals of laughter, grabbing Wally by the shoulders and dragging him out from between the cupboards and the table to give him more room to stand.

By the time Wally was finally up and Dick finally stopped laughing, the water on the stove had reached a boil. Wally made a move to pour the hot liquid into the coffee maker, but Dick held him back.

"Bo, you're in no shape to be near anything hot," Dick said, forcing his pal to take a seat on the couch before he injured himself further. "Remember last year when you tried to make coffee and spilled the water on your crotch?"

Wally winced at the memory and conceded to sit while Dick finished up with the coffee. His head was throbbing from its collision course with the kitchen furniture, which was not by any means helping him with his pounding, alcohol induced headache. He closed his lids tightly and leaned back against the sofa, trying to pull forth images from the things that had happened while he was intoxicated. Something stood out to him.

"Hey, Dick, you remember that time we pulled the 'ole gooseberry lay on rickety old Miss Todd?" Wally asked abruptly, straightening and glancing over at Dick.

"Ha, how could I? She threatened to whoop us with a hickory stick if she caught us doin' it again! Not sure where she would've gotten one around the _city_, but knowing her she probably had one growing in her house."

Both men guffawed at the image, and Wally thought he might upchuck if he didn't stop.

"Anyway, why'd you bring that up, bo?" Dick inquired, grabbing two mugs from the kitchen cabinet and pouring generous measures of joe into both of them. "You feelin' peckish for trouble?"

Wallace waved him off.

"No, no... nothing like that. It's just, well, we've been drinking from the same bottle for a long damn time, right?"

Dick nodded sagely, handing him his coffee and patting his back. "That's right, bo. We're pals through thick and thin. Why do you ask?"

"Well. My memory's fuzzy, but it's all coming back to me, and I remembered us arguing. Something about that... that Artemis dame you let into the _Cave _last week," he said, furrowing his brows in concentration. "Yeah, I was drunk and said something about you letting crazy broads in... and about you guys whispering last week. You know, behind the bar after the Birds of-"

"I know what you're talking about, Wally," Dick said darkly. "And you can drop the subject now. What Artemis told me is incredibly sensitive information, I can't just go around telling it to-"

"To anyone?" Wally groused, fast getting peeved. He set his untouched coffee mug down on the table in front of the couch and faced his pal intently. "Since when am I just _anyone_? I'm your best damn pal, Dick! What could she have possibly told you that you can't tell me!"

"I'm lucky she even told me what she did, Wally. She was doing us a favor, and that's all you need to know."

The two friends lapsed into an uncomfortably charged atmosphere. Wally crossed his arms tightly over his chest, glaring down into the brown liquid of his cup as if it had personally insulted him in some way. Then something clicked in his pounding skull.

"...does this have something to do with those bootleg interceptions you found out about?" he whispered, afraid that if he spoke too loud, someone would hear and rat them both out. Dick didn't even have to answer; the way his body stiffened was more than enough for the redhead. Wally tutted, popped up from the couch with his fists clenched.

"_She's _the one who warned you about them? _That's _what you couldn't tell me? Don't you trust me anymore, bo?"

"It's not that, Wall. Of course I trust you. But obviously you don't remember much of last night. On the way home you almost got us put away," Dick said, looking dejectedly at the liquid in his own cup.

Wally's eyes sprung open. "What!" He cried out, nearly spilling his coffee all over himself.

Dick nodded. "You aren't a quiet drunk, bo. And you seem to have been in the bottle a lot since the incident with Artemis."

Wally frowned pensively. It had been a week and he still hadn't found _any _dirt on the skirt in green; hell, he had seen hide nor hair of her since that night at the speakeasy. He did know that Logan was out for blood when she showed her face at the _Cave _again. He had been boasting about how he wasn't afraid to hit a girl to get his favorite hat back. Wally had put cayenne in his shot glass for that one.

The two men finished their coffee in silence and set the mugs in the sink. Wally wandered over to the icebox and opened the door, looking for something edible. He sighed when he found nothing but a tray of ice. He motioned to Dick to go out the door as there was nothing for breakfast.

"Hey, hold up, bo!" Wally called when they reached the street; Dick had immediately turned left and started traipsing down the sidewalk with his hands stuffed deep in his suit pockets. "Let's take the Speedster out for a spin!"

Dick groaned, twisting around to face his friend.

"Oh, go climb your thumb, Wally!" he snapped, jamming a thumb over his shoulder, walking backwards. "I'm walking."

The redhead looked crestfallen, frozen in the act of pulling his key out of his trouser pockets.

"But, Dick, this poor old gal's been sitting out in the hot sun for a month! I never get to drive her!", he wheedled, gesturing to the red Duesenberg parked in front of him. It was shiny and well cared for, heat coming off of it in waves.

Dick shook his head forcefully, not to be swayed on the matter.

"Absolutely not, bo! You're hungover and I'm not setting foot in that bucket with you!"

Wallace growled out a curse, shoved his key back in his pocket and jogged up to his friend, shoving him none-too-gently in the arm as he fell into step beside him.

"I just don't get you, pal. You have the bees! Why waste mazuma on me if you're not going to let me drive the thing?" he grumbled. The two friends continued down the sizzling streets, block after block with the cruel sun beating down on their backs and causing sweat to bead on their brows. The town was bustling despite the heat, flappers and cats and dames of all sorts going about their business without a care in the world. Drugstore cowboys aggravated pretty young women at every turn and men with fags dangling from their lips leaned against brick walls to chat.

"I didn't _waste _mazuma. I got you a fast crate for your birthday because that's what you wanted, right? That's all I heard for months was how you wanted a crate of your own. A fast, bright one that would impress the dames and that you could take out into the country and drive at top speed! So that's what I got you. It's not my fault if you don't know how to use it on your own time; you know I prefer walking."

"And I _appreciate _the birthday gift!" Wally shouted, glaring at a rather shady looking group of men huddled in an alleyway as they passed. "That's why I wanted to drive my best pal down to the diner for a bite of breakfast. It's the least I can do."

Dick shook his head, though now he was grinning as he tilted his head to the side and shot Wally a knowing look, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Tell it to Sweeney! We _both _know you wanted that little struggle buggy to haul your one night stands around in, cake-eater."

Wallace couldn't help but grin back.

**o.o.o.o**

Twenty minutes later, the two men sat across from each other at Mera and Arthur's diner. Arthur was the best cook in the county, and everyone from Gotham and the outlying area knew it. Mera, his lovely wife, waited tables and made fresh joe for the guests.

"I'm _telling _you, bo, Zee's got her eyes on you, big time!" Wally was saying intensely as Mera came by, depositing two steaming cups on the table for them. Dick snorted, pulling his drink over to his chest absently.

"You're full of it! Just because she blew me a crash on the stage, right? It was just a part of the act, Babs knows that."

Wally shook his head forlornly, smiling to himself. Dick had more dame problems than Wally could shake a stick at, yet _he _was the one with the reputation? How does that work?

"Sorry to interrupt, boys. What'll it be?" Mera asked politely.

"Flapjacks!" the redhead blurted instantaneously, steepling his fingers together on the smooth tabletop. As if to punctuate the order, his stomach emitted a loud and rather embarrassing gurgle. His face turned a light shade of rubicund and he added, "Ah, make that _two _stacks of flapjacks, would you, Mera?"

The kind woman winked and grinned, no stranger to Wallace West's seemingly insatiable appetite.

"Of course, dear. And you?" she said, facing Dick.

"Well, since my ravenous friend here is bound to have ordered every last hot cake in your diner, I'll take a bowl of grits."

"Comin' right up, fellas," Mera promised, and gave them a hearty wink before disappearing.

"Aw, break it up, Dick!" Wallace complained, nudging him in the shin under the table. "You know I can't help it, especially when I get hungry after a hangover..."

"Yeah," Dick snorted, "My wallet's noticed."

Wally took a heavy sip from his mug, a smile crinkling the edges of his eyes.

"Thanks for keeping me from going broke," he laughed after swallowing, his mind not registering the bell on the door that announced the arrival of another customer.

"Well, look at that," Dick snickered, his eyebrows raised.

"Look at what?" Wally narrowed his eyes suspiciously, wondering if his best friend was pulling another one of his infamous pranks.

"The reason you've been so hungover lately has just decided to slip into the diner," Dick said with a smirk, the amusement dancing in his blue eyes. The redhead spluttered a bit into his java, mindlessly wiping his chin with his sleeve before turning around in the booth to get a look.

Sure enough, Dick was telling the truth; that long blonde hair was recognizable anywhere. Wally's eyes stuck to her form like glue, his mind whirling with a jumbled mess of thoughts and feelings as it tried to process how to handle the situation. Artemis was sitting at the diner counter, conversing easily with Garth the busboy as she waited for whatever it was she'd ordered. Wally wondered briefly if it was a bowl of nails.

In hindsight, Wally had absolutely no idea what it was that compelled him to stand up and walk _toward _the bearcat. But for some reason, he did, ignoring Dick's questions about where he was going. And he soon found himself floundering for words as she felt his eyes on the back of her head and swiveled around to face him, eyeing him warily from her seat.

"Can I help you?" she asked, one of her delicate eyebrows raising and a look of mild irritation evident even as a corner of her painted lips twitched up. He hadn't noticed it a week ago in the dim lights of the speakeasy, but her face was _definitely _water-proof; just the red lipstick coating her mouth was more than enough to get any young cats heart pounding. Not that it was making _his _heart pound.

"We met last week," Wally informed her, shaking his thoughts away. "At..." He suddenly remembered that he was in public and _thus _couldn't mention Dick's speakeasy.

"...At a place," the redhead finished lamely.

"How could I forget?" The smirk was full-blown now. "Mr. Cake-Eater, looking to claim another prize," she mused, nodding when a piping hot pastry was slid in front of her.

Wally paused, trying to think of something to say that was classy and suave. But his mouth seemed to be rebelling and instead he found himself snorting, "I don't think _anyone _could claim you."

Artemis looked a bit amused by the statement, and by the frown that flew across Wally's face as he tried to decide whether or not he had just paid the dame a compliment or an insult.

"Would you like to go dancing?" he blurted out all of a sudden, startling some of the other patrons seated at the counter.

Was that from _his _mouth?

"I'm sorry?" Artemis furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Would you go dancing with me?" Wally asked again, pleased that his mouth seemed to be in his control once more; he was _not_, however, pleased with the words that were coming out of it and what they entailed. He clenched his fists at his sides, wondered why they were feeling clammy out of the blue.

The blonde turned back to her breakfast.

"You won't like that I take the lead," she said, a bit of ruefulness sneaking into her tone. "Go find a kitten that'll chase your tail feathers."

Wally paused, rethinking his actions. What _was _he doing, asking out some bearcat that was likely to tear him a new one should he do the wrong thing? But as he watched the woman pointedly ignore him, he recognized the spark in her that had attracted him in the first place. Though the redhead wasn't quite sure what that spark _was_, but it pulled him in like a magnet.

"I won't mind," he spoke up again, a small smile forming when the blonde turned back to him, surprise obvious on her face. "Really. I'd love to take you dancing," Wally reiterated.

Artemis glared at him for a moment, making him shift on his feet, before thrusting her hand out for a shake. "Seven'o'clock. You can pick me up at the Star Company Office on 3rd and main."

Wally grinned and took her hand, planning to kiss it. His face scrunched up in pain, however, when she clenched it with an iron grip and shook a few times before releasing him.

"Why not at your home?" he managed to ask after regaining his composure.

The blonde snatched up a few napkins and wrapped up the rest of her breakfast, leaving some change clattering on the bar as she hopped off the stool.

"So that you can stalk me? No thanks," she waved over her shoulder as she sauntered out of the diner. "See you later, _Wall-man_."

Wallace stared after her retreating form, even continued gazing at the door long after she'd taken her abrupt departure. He blinked several times, feeling as if he were waking from some sort of strange trance, and when he turn back to the booth he and Dick had been occupying, it was to see his friend stifling a laugh behind his fingers.

"Boy, _she _took a bunk awful fast!" Dick commented, shoveling a spoonful of grits into his mouth cheerily.

"Uh... what just happened?" Wally wondered dazedly. Had someone slipped some hooch into his morning beverage or something? "I didn't mean to... I mean, I wanted to..."

"Wanted to what, bo? What'd you say to that dame, anyway?"

Wally fidgeted with his tie for a long time, not even remotely enticed by the two large, steaming piles of hot cakes and syrup that had been placed on the table while he'd been conversing with Artemis. Finally, he sighed in defeat, picked up a fork, and half-heartedly began sawing into a portion of his breakfast.

"I... I asked her out on the town," he confessed, swallowing thickly. "To go dancing with me."

Rather than laughing himself into a stupor, Dick slid his cheaters down to the very end of his beezer, blue eyes imploring.

"You sure that's a good idea, Wally? Last time I checked, it never did a man good to _date _the reason for his drinking."

Wally sank down into his chair.

"I dunno, bo. That dame is just different than all of the rest," he said. Dick raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't you say that about Fiona? Hell, you said that about Fiona _and _Linda!" Dick exclaimed.

Wally rolled his eyes. "She's _different _different, Dick. Those two were just mindless _flings_. Artemis isn't a chippy. She's going to be more than they were. I can _feel _it. Did I tell you how she beat up Lo-"

Dick pulled off his cheaters and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, Wally, you told me. Logan told me. Conner told me. Jaime told me. _Everyone at my damn club told me._"

Wally signaled for Garth to bring a doggy bag. He strangely didn't feel like eating anymore; his appetite had walked right out the door with Artemis. As soon as his flapjacks were packaged neatly and ready to go, Wally shot up and practically ran home, wishing that he had talked Dick into taking the Speedster after all.

**o.o.o.o**

**Vocab used:**

_Flivver_- a Ford automobile

_rag-a-muffin_- a dirty or disheveled individual

_bent_- drunk

_copper_- cop, police man

_smoked_- drunk

_go over the edge with the rams_- to get far too drunk

_Alderman_- a man's pot belly

_boozehound_- drunkard

_cheaters_- sunglasses

_joe, java_- coffee

_gooseberry lay_- stealing clothes from a clothesline

_upchuck_- vomit, hurl, throw-up

_drink out of the same bottle_- to be close friends

_bootleg_- illegal liquor

_the Speedster_- Wally's affectionate nickname for his car

_Duesenberg_- 1922 Model A Duesenberg automobile (Wally's car model)

_go climb up your thumb_- go away, get lost

_bucket_- car

_have the bees_- to be rich

_mazuma_- money

_crate_- car

_Drugstore cowboy_- a well-dressed man who loiters in public areas trying to pick up women

_fag_- cigarette

_Tell it to Sweeney_- tell it to someone who'll believe it

_struggle buggy_- the backseat of a car

_crash_- kiss

_break it up_- stop that, quit the nonsense

_water-proof_- face that doesn't need any make-up

_cake-eater_- ladies man

_take a bunk_- leave, disappear

_hooch_- booze

_beezer_- nose

_chippy_- woman with easy virtue


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer- We do not own Young Justice or any of it's characters. Or anything from the 20s, for that matter!**

**Okay, first of all... um, my SINCERST apologies for the time it took to write this and ALSO THE LENGTH. 8,227 words including the vocab list! Jesus we went crazy with this! Rest assured most chapters WON'T be this long, this is just a fluke! Ack! Kind of embarrassing like woah. XD**

**Once again: This fic WILL be changed to an M rating with CHAPTER 4.**

**Hope you enjoy! And also thanks for all the reviews so far, you guys are awesome! :)**

**o.o.o.o**

**_Written by IronicVeghead, Chaneldancegrl, Dottoraqn, and TheRantDragon._  
**

**o.o.o.o**

_Gotham City: August 1, 1923_

**o.o.o.o**_  
_

Wallace outwardly groaned as he attempted to scope out the shirt he was looking for.

"I could have sworn it was here just yesterday!" he cursed, riffling through his chest of drawers in frustration and flinching from the squeaks of the wood, the drawers having become sticky from the heat. The redhead had found the perfect bow tie to wear on his date, but it looked best with one of his favorite button-ups. He had a few extra shirts that would work, but when it came to Artemis, second best just wasn't going to cut it.

If he was going to impress this dame, he was going to need to pull out all the stops. And _boy howdy _did he want to impress her; Wally had even scrubbed the windshield of the Speedster that afternoon in preparation.

He grumbled into his sock drawer as his hand groped around for the burgundy suspenders he remembered he'd stuffed in there last weekend.

Normally Wally wouldn't have bothered searching for coordinating clothes. His usual routine for nights on the town included finding a hot spot, picking up a dame, and driving her back to his apartment. Sometimes he'd even remember the girls name and could find them again the next weekend, as was the case with gals like Fiona and Linda.

It was strange for the redhead to go to such lengths as he was for Artemis, to ask her out before even knowing if she would be a decent flop. But while he was most certainly attracted sexually to the blonde, what sparked his interest the most was just her _personality_, her way of handling things.

A personality like Artemis' was hard to come by, maybe once in a million dames. Not many skirts would—or _could_— punch the lights out of a big, beefy, obnoxious bruno like Logan and simply walk away like it was nothing; or call Wally out on his flirting before he even got the chance to start; or down two Mint Juleps in a matter of seconds. He admired the way her intellect kept him on his toes, and her refusal to let any man walk all over her kept him coming back for more like a rummy coming back for a skee—which at least explained the sudden loss of control of his legs back at the diner. He _felt _like a rummy too, always bumbling and losing his moxie around her.

How was it possible that just one dame could turn him, a self declared cake-eater, into a Dumb Dora?

He sighed and shook his head, yanking his suspenders on and shoving the drawer to his dresser closed so hard it knocked his alarm clock off. Wally couldn't stifle another angry groan and reached down exasperatedly to pick up the clock, his eyes widening almost comically as he registered the time; 6:40. It took fifteen minutes to get to the Star Company Offices and he wasn't even finished putting his face on.

Wally scrambled around the room, searching for the rest of his attire. He tripped over a sheet lying haphazardly off the bed, pulling the other blankets to the ground. When he reached to yank off the fabric covering his face, he was rewarded with the very shirt he was looking for.

"Attaboy!" he shouted to himself, despite being the only soul in the room.

He hurriedly stood up and put his arms through the sleeves and buttoned up. Wally quickly added his bow tie to the look, tying it expertly thanks to many nights out on the town. He also laced up the new shoes he had gotten specifically for tonight; the shop owner had reassured him that they were the latest and best style for a night of dragging. He glanced in the mirror, checking out his look and being almost satisfied.

Wally searched the room, his tapping foot clicking against the hardwood floor. Finally, his sight landed on his trademark fedora and he grinned, flipping it on to his head and letting it lay at an angle. He briefly considered wearing a jacket so he could pop his collar and look ritzy while dragging, before he quickly shrugged into it.

Wally tried to brush off his anxiety, and shook his head. "Relax, relax. Just don't futz this up, Wall-man."

He looked at his reflection and gave a winning smile, his hands becoming imaginary pistols that he fake shot at the mirror, but it didn't have the same effect it usually did. He quickly stole a glance at the clock again and swore, grabbing his wallet and keys before racing out his apartment door in a flurry.

He jumped into the Speedster, grabbing his hat that almost flew off in his rush. The engine came alive at the twist of his keys and Wally tightly gripped the steering wheel.

"Come on, ole gal, remind me how fast you really are."

**o.o.o.o**

"What am I _doing_?" Artemis asked the mirror as she finished the smoky look to her eyes, "This isn't that big of deal," she spoke, exasperated. And yet the flutterings in her stomach wouldn't go away. She tsked briefly at her hair before running a brush through it forcefully, softening and separating the ringlets she'd painstakingly curled an hour ago.

"That dress better still be on the hanger or Jade is going to be in for a nasty surprise," Artemis grumbled, shoving the closet door aside to search for the article, one hand flipping through the wire hangers, the other situating the slip that had shifted on her hips. Thankfully the deep emerald dress was still there, and it only held a few wrinkles that weren't supposed to be there.

The blonde turned her lips in to protect the fabric from her lipstick as she shimmied the dress over her head, turning experimentally to face the mirror in contemplation. The dark green dress had wide straps which Artemis thought suited nicely for dancing. Excess fabric in the skirt was bunched up below her hip, the seams holding it hidden by a few roses, and the uneven hem swung freely around Artemis's knees.

Artemis hummed to herself before walking briskly back to her vanity and snatching up a barrette to hold back the loose tendrils of her recently curled hair, securing it under the trilby that she had snitched off of that bruno sap. One pair of well-loved black dance shoes later, and Artemis was ready for the date.

She glanced at the clock and rolled her eyes. She was ready almost fifteen minutes _early_.

Artemis momentarily entertained the idea of arriving to their meeting destination early, but swiftly dismissed it in case it made her look too eager. Because she _wasn't_.

She _wasn't _excited and she should stand the cat up in favor of making a few rounds to keep watch on the shipments. But _no_. Artemis had said yes to some cake-eater that made her stomach turn, so she was going to bear it.

Artemis told herself that she wasn't going to get upset either. That when Wally frowned at her biting remarks and daring moves that put him second, _just like the rest of them_, she was going to suck it up and last it out. And when he got sick of her mighty attitude and independent mind, _because they always did_, she would move on and find another man who would humor her for a few hours.

Because that's all they ever lasted. A few hours of gracious leniency, and then they were at your throat, hammering you to be _complacent _and _demure _like the rest of them. They laugh, show you off to their friend, call you _cute_, and when they realize that you're serious, they leave you high and dry. Running like they've come in contact with some sort of fatal disease.

The blonde sighed and ran a hand through her hair before standing up, deciding to head over to meet Wally a bit early. She didn't feel like reveling in self pity any longer, it wasn't like anything was ever going to change.

Sometimes she wished that she was like them, the thoughtless tail chasers that hung onto a cat's arm like the prospect of being candy to a man's ego was an _honor_. Artemis just wanted to find someone that would respect her independence, that would see her boldness as an admirable quality like her mother had. And not as a nuisance like her father saw it. She loved being brash and outspoken; but sometimes, _sometimes _she wished that she wasn't. Because, although it would be degrading, those women did seem... _Happy_.

She smiled a bit as she caught site of the stolen trilby topping her blonde hair. A small victory from the world of men that continued to try and place her in a neatly wrapped position on their shelves.

Artemis grit her teeth as she left her apartment. She was taking a chance with Wally. There were better, more useful things she could be doing tonight. But he had grinned at her like she was amazing, and had pursued her after witnessing her topple a man. And her _damn stomach _was still all a flutter.

So she would take a chance.

**o.o.o.o**

Wally wove around cars and sped through yellow lights to get to Star Co. in time to pick up his dame. He heard multiple people shout at him from behind the wheels of their own crates as he sped down the street towards the Big O's offices building. He slid smoothly into a space by the entrance of the building and hopped over the door and out of his breezer.

The redhead observed the sidewalk both ways, people hustling and bustling back and forth even in the heat of the muggy Gotham night, seemingly oblivious that they were living in one of the most notoriously crime ridden cities in the world. Most nights, a cat could hardly escort his girl one block without witnessing a caper or hearing the telltale sound of Chicago lightning echoing from somewhere downtown.

Still, life had to go on, and dames had to be dated.

Wallace checked his watch and frowned, examining the block again. He chuckled at the sight of a bum's rush being swiftly executed on a hapless mug at a hash house to the right of the Star Co. building. The man's slurred—he was obviously splifficated—cry of indignation pierced through the night, and those that were walking passed him sped up their pace, not wanting to be caught near an intoxicated individual in case the fuzz were close by.

Wally couldn't help but wince with embarrassment and turn away; had he been that loud and obvious and stupid when Dick escorted him home last night? He would have to remember to properly apologize to his bo when next he got the chance.

But for now, he had more pressing matters to attend.

"Hmm," Wally murmured, turning his attention back to the towering skyscraper Artemis had told him to pick her up at. He pulled his fedora off and scratched his noodle. "Did that bearcat want me to meet her outside or _inside_?"

He wracked his mind, recalling the memory of his fumbling proposal to take her out dancing, trying to remember if she'd been a little more specific about the location. He couldn't remember, and suddenly the horrible thought that she'd stood him up crossed into his mind. His heart sank horribly into his gut, making him sick. He checked his watch and saw that it was still one minute to seven.

_Be a man, Wally. Even if she does stand you up, it's not like it's never happened to you before. Just shrug it off and go home and completely forget about it in the morning. This time is no different... is it?_

He was having a hard time convincing himself. He started to bring his watch up to look at the time again, but he was interrupted by a light, husky voice from behind.

"Excuse me, dewdropper. Might you generously point a young woman in the right direction?" the voice crooned sweetly. "I'm looking for a freckly bo about your height, probably standin' around thinking he's the cat's meow for getting a date with me on this fine evening... probably thinks he's gonna get lucky tonight, too."

Wallace's face turned rubicund at that last statement and he had to mentally restrain his hand from snaking around to check his back pocket where he _knew _he'd tucked a condom in before walking out the door— you know, _just in case_.

His face scrunched up indignantly as he whirled to make a retort—that _no _he was _not _a dewdropper, he was a _scientist_, and so what if he _happened _to have protection in his back pocket?— but he came up short at the very sight before him.

Artemis was leaning against his car with mischievously hooded eyes, observing him from beneath the brim of her trilby, a wide smirk playing on her face. And she looked beautiful. Her long blonde hair was curled elegantly, playing around her bare shoulders as a breeze kicked up and Wally would _swear _the wind held her perfume. Her long, lean legs were crossed, and various parts of her thighs peeked out at him, taunting him from between the cut folds in her emerald dress.

Wally was momentarily rendered speechless. He was sure he must've looked like a gaping fish, because Artemis let loose a raspy laugh and took a few steps toward him, tilting her prize trilby over at an angle so that she was leering playfully at him through one, darkened eye.

"What's the matter, cake-eater? Don't tell me this is the first time you've been slack jawed by the sight of a dolled up dame. I'm sure more than a few of your previous nookie partners have left you at a loss for words... and a little tight in the slacks." Her eye darted down pointedly to his—thankfully—still slack slacks. She smirked ruefully.

But Wallace was still too busy staring at her to be embarrassed or offended by her words. The truth was that none of his... er, _nookie _partners ever _had _made him screech to a complete stop like this. It both frightened and enthralled him.

Then again, Artemis wasn't just some nookie partner he'd picked up on a Saturday evening for a fun time, either. She was much more than that.

"I... um..." he at last choked, clearing his throat and replacing his gray fedora back on top of his mussed up locks. "You... you look—"

"Why don't we skip punching the bag and just get a wiggle on? I'm fine, you look well so I'm assuming that you're fine, if you weren't you wouldn't have shown up," Artemis said, stepping back to get a better look at the car. "I'm also assuming this is your car, judging by the fact that you're loitering next to it. Slick crate, _Wall-man_."

Wally's ears began to heat, and he was dumbfounded again by the sight of Artemis hopping into his car the same way he had vacated the vehicle. She took off her hat and placed it in her lap so that it would not get blown away. This revealed more of her meticulously curled blonde locks, which she shook out and ran her fingers through a little grumpily before looking at him expectantly from the passenger seat.

"Well, what are we waiting for, Wallace?" she asked, red lips quirking. "Let's get this show on the road!"

**o.o.o.o**

Artemis wasn't sure what she had been expecting. She had been entertaining herself—partly to calm her nerves—with the amusing idea of Wally pulling up to some teen hangout of a place like the _Happy Harbor Hop_, stuttering nervously that it was the best he could come up with at such short notice and that he hoped she liked coca-cola.

Obviously she wasn't giving the cat enough credit, because the little dancing shindig he brought her to was nothing short of impressive. It was a far cry from the images she had conjured up during the ride in his souped up crate; it was large, bright, and expensive looking, full to the brim with dames and their boys trying to get in for dinner and some serious dragging. _The Atlantis Ballroom _was the bee's knees, the talk of the town, and Artemis had never even _dreamed _of getting into it.

It was _the _place for a night of cutting a rug in Gotham.

"Wow," Artemis breathed, smiling as she looked up at the building. She heard the sound of Wally vaulting over the door of his breezer, the soft footfalls of his dance shoes against the pavement as he scurried over to jerk the passenger door open for her. Normally she would've protested, but she figured she'd let it slide this time. Typically she hated when her dates played the nice gentleman role because, in her experience, that usually meant they thought they'd be getting a little nookie later that night for sure. They never really meant the elbows they offered or the doors they opened or the compliments on her appearance, and it made the lollygaggers think they controlled the night and her.

However, Wally's actions seemed heartfelt enough; she could sense no ulterior motive besides him wanting to be nice and wanting to take care of her, even though she didn't need it. And despite herself, she couldn't help but find it endearing.

"I'm impressed, Wall-man. _Very _impressed. How'd you get us into a place like this?" she asked, still busy taking in his awe-inspiring choice of a date spot.

Artemis stepped out, and she was at least glad to see he wasn't holding his hand out for her. She thought she saw his digits twitch with the desire to, but he remained stoic, shutting the door behind her while she placed her trilby back on her hair delicately. Once they were a few steps away from his red heap, however, he made it a point to catch up to her stride and offer her an elbow. She smirked and took it, linking them together as they neared the line.

Wally grinned.

"I have connections," he stated, winking slyly at her. Somehow, his freckles seemed brighter and more noticeable than she remembered. Artemis's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he gave her a wicked grin. "Not too bad for some sap you met at a bar, now is it?"

She merely rolled her eyes.

"Quit beatin' your gums and get a move on. Your connections won't matter if you make us stand around all night."

Artemis pulled on his arm, eagerness coursing through her veins at the prospect of swinging the night away in the ritzy joint. She kept her expression calm, determined not to give away her emotions just yet to this cake-eater. Still, she couldn't hide her surprise once more as Wally led her passed the long winding line of other guys and girls, their shoes thudding on the sidewalk all the way to the entrance.

Guarding the doors was a big surly bruno wearing a scowl and dark cheaters that reflected the lights of the club as the young couple approached. Wally didn't seem fazed at all as he proudly spoke.

"We're pals of Grayson. West and his dame."

The man turned to the side and let them pass amidst cries of protest from the others who had been waiting impatiently in the line. When they had entered the long hallway leading to the main room, Wally yelped from the sharp pain in his side as Artemis dug her elbow into his ribs with a smirk.

"So Grayson's your connection? Shoud've known."

Wally shrugged unabashedly as two gentlemen in tuxes opened the doors to the main room for them. Sweet jazz tunes poured through the air and the radiant colors of the other dancers swirling around the room greeted them. Artemis stepped in before her gigolo, mouth slightly agape as her deep grey eyes were drawn up to an exquisite crystal chandelier raised high above the heads of the dancers, sparkling and shining in the lights.

Wally left her side, walking over to one of the doormen. The two whispered together for a moment, then the doorman walked towards a cluster of small tables by the bar. Wally offered Artemis his arm again, however this time she rejected it, opting to push ahead of her date and follow the doorman to their reserved table.

Outwardly Artemis looked mildly impressed, inwardly the child she'd hidden away long ago squealed with excitement from being taken to such a beautiful place. Her head whipped around in every direction, eyes trying and failing to drink in every miniscule detail of the place, all of its aqua and blue hues. It was a quietly elegant place, much like one might imagine that famed underwater city for which it was named. She felt the light pressure of Wally's fingers on her back when she halted a bit too long to gape up at an exquisite painting of sea life just above the dance floor. His chuckle ghosted into her ear as they approached their seating arrangement.

The two sat down across from each other at the table and told the waiter that showed up their drink orders. Artemis smirked when Wally had to scoot his chair to the side in order to view her from across the table, the extravagant coral centerpiece having blocked the way. She managed to keep a relatively straight face, however, even when the redhead cleared his throat to try and cover up the noise from the screeching feet of the chair as it slid. The coughing didn't work and the noise drew scowls of attention from the nearby table. The blonde mentally cursed herself when she caught herself thinking him _cute _as he awkwardly waved in apology with a sheepish smile stuck to his face.

When their disappointingly soft drinks arrived, Artemis knocked hers back as if she were a rummy craving her favorite hair of the dog, and imagined the carbonation sizzling down her throat was the familiar sting of alcohol. Wally marveled at the dame sitting in front of him, his mouth falling open. He snapped it shut when Artemis slammed her glass on the table and looked up at him just as the song changed to a lively, exotic rhythm.

"So, _Wall-man_," she said over the din. "Tell me a bit about yourself. Got any family in Gotham?"

Artemis didn't even know why she was asking him such a question. Normally she didn't care enough to delve into the life and times of any man that took her out on a date, but she reasoned that in this case she was doing it as a distraction.

_But a distraction from what? _her mind asked curiously, and when she saw his quick smile at the mention of his family she got a hint of an answer.

"Nah, Gotham's a little too busy for my family's taste. They live in a, I guess what you'd call a more pleasant town in the Midwest known as Central City."

"And you wanted to be an egg and live the high life in Gotham," she guessed, thinking of his breezer, supposed cake eating ways, and friendship with Grayson.

Wally shrugged. "It's a change in pace. Plus, the company's better here," he said with a smile and meaningful look in her direction that made her heart clench a little. His eyes weren't filled with the cockiness and self importance she had become so accustomed to; his expression was genuine, as if he really enjoyed being in her company despite her brazen and hotheaded personality. She stopped herself from biting her lip and looking like all the other Dumb Doras who probably fell for that line.

Instead, she reverted back to her usual guarded self and rolled her eyes. "I'm sure all the little skirts you bring home provide plenty of it."

"Not all the dames. Some barely seem to be able to sit at a table with me for five minutes," his teasing tone allowed Artemis to grin a bit, thinking about the night they first met.

"I only bother giving the time of day to people who deserve it," she retorted with a challenging smirk.

"Well, I guess I've done a ducky job so far," answered Wally. "So what about you? Do you have family hanging around the city?"

At this question, Artemis felt herself shut down a bit and cursed herself for taking the conversation down this road. Most fellas never bothered, but she should've just learned to avoid the whole topic in the first place. She almost gave him a typical vague answer about no family worth mentioning or that she was on her own, but when she looked at him again and saw his true curiosity and encouraging expression, she couldn't help herself.

"Just my mom," tumbled out of her before she could stop it. _Damn, what was this man doing to her? _She turned her attention away from him and to the table, playing with the smooth tablecloth instead.

"What's she like?" murmured Wally.

Artemis shrugged, now especially conscious of her traitorous tongue. "Just like any mom. Takes care of me."

_Or rather, I take care of her_, she corrected bitterly in her head.

She took a breath, trying to strategize a way to avoid divulging anything more family related. That was a topic she didn't even want to dwell on, let alone tell him about. Artemis looked up at the dance floor and watched the twirling couples hopping around to the band's latest tune, not a care in the world. She quickly looked back at the bo across the table and decided to take charge. After all, they had come to the _Atlantis Ballroom _to dance, hadn't they?

"C'mon, Cake-eater," Artemis said, standing up so abruptly that she nearly knocked her chair over and offering Wally her hand. "Let's shake a leg!"

Wally took Artemis' hand and gasped when she swung him onto the dance floor. The dame's mouth pulled up at one corner, digging a dimple into her cheek. Outwardly, she was amused and confident, but on the inside she was rigid and ready for the worst. This would be it, the moment when she started to take control of things and the man would quickly realize how much he hated it, how he should be the one leading their dance and that perhaps this whole night out dancing had been a bad idea.

A slip of the tongue.

The jazz music was swelling to a crescendo, indicating that it was about to end, but she figured it was enough time to let him know just what exactly he would be dealing with all night long.

Artemis tried to force him into a basic step, but Wally just grinned widely, suddenly flipping her. Artemis reacted, finishing the step with a flourish of her hat. The pair glared at each other, vying for dominance on the dance floor. They heard the song drawing to a close, and with sudden, graceful force Wallace spun Artemis, catching her off guard. She tried to regain her balance, but slipped, losing her footing entirely. As the band came to a big finish, Wally caught Artemis by her arm, lowering her into a dip gracefully.

Her world was upside down, literally; from her dipped position in Wally's arms she could see the other dancers laughing and pulling away from their gigolos with flushed skin and white teeth. With a huff to blow a strand of loose hair away from her visage, she jerked her head back up to narrow her eyes at him. He still had that completely goofy grin on his face, arm latched firmly around her middle.

"And here I was thinking you'd be a heeler," Artemis admitted, removing herself from his grasp. She bent low to retrieve the trilby that had fallen to the floor with that last move. Wally scoffed.

"Babe, please! I'm a _great _hoofer!" he said jovially. He took his fedora off and held it in one hand as he did a rather fancy jig with his feet to prove his point, his shined shoes moving so frantically under the light that she had a hard time seeing them; she heard some people around them make noises of appreciation and point to him. "A real Oliver Twist, you might say."

Artemis put a hand on her hip, shaking her head and smiling. This Wallace West was really surprising her at every turn. But still... she had to test the waters first, slip her toes in before her entire foot, so to speak.

The musicians started to play again and Artemis stepped back and looked at Wally sensually, her toes dragging across the floor as she approached him. She thrust her hand out to him, curling her fingers and drawing him forward, willing him to step towards her. The two circled each other, she placing her hand on his chest to stabilize their movement, he keeping his jacket hooked over his shoulder. They separated and he flung the article away, staring at Artemis, waiting for her to make the first move.

They met suddenly, both leaning forward on his and her left legs, the right drawn back; their arms locked at the elbows and her head tilted back, her eyes hooded. Artemis pulled away, holding on to Wally's arm as she countered and felt him counter, the pair's gaze still fixated. He spun her, catching her deftly, pulling her closer to his body. She resisted for a moment, but let him pull her in close, start a basic. They slid dexterously across the floor, but Artemis was not about to let Wally lead for the entire dance; she hooked her leg around his hip, leaning to her right, forcing Wally to turn to keep the pair on balance. Artemis looked for distress in his eyes at her assertion of dominance, but found none, only his emerald eyes staring back at her with the same look he had at the café.

She abruptly unhooked her leg and flung the upper half of her body back, coming back up to meet a different emotion in the redhead's eyes. With the way his lip pulled up when she looked at him, she realized that her eyes must display the same sentiment. She nudged his foot, breaking his gaze, starting a skilled zigzag across the floor with her feet. Wally caught on quickly, but when Artemis looked at him, his eyes flashed and he put his foot out to stop her. She countered, he spun her to shift her weight and keep her from tripping over his outstretched leg.

He caught her again, her back to his front, and lead her sideways across the floor. Artemis stopped them with a kick of her leg, a shift in gravity, and spun herself, only to be caught for a third time in Wally's arms. She reprised her zigzaging from earlier, leading him around in a circle, never breaking eye contact.

She noticed when his eyes slipped to her hips, twisting back and forth, continuing to lead him in a circle. She twirled away from him, her hand reaching out, this time asking to be stopped. He responded as she desired, grabbing her fingers at the last possible second, halting the pair exactly where she wanted them. She freed herself and spun around and brushed his outstretched fingers, propelling him into a spin of his own.

**o.o.o**

_This bearcat's a smudger!_

Wally stayed still as the thought ran through his mind, wanting desperately to look over his shoulder but fearing the consequences. He suddenly felt her arms around his torso, her hands splayed out across his pectorals; there was an slight tightening in his groin at the action, but he reigned himself in quickly. He looked back at her and followed her sight line down to where her leg was subtly snaking up to his hip. He placed his hand on her knee and squeezed lightly, causing her to jerk away and skip backwards across the hardwood, her hands slowly running up her body.

He reached up to snatch her hand, but she evaded him, sinking to one knee, and putting her hand up. Wally reached down and took her by her shoulder blade, drawing her up his body and into a spin. She twisted again, trying to regain control, but he had caught on to her trick by now. He put his hand on her waist and continued her trajectory into a dip against his hip and pulled her up abruptly, grabbing her waist to stop her from twirling away once more.

He was very surprised when she ran her hands down her throat and sighed lightly into his ear, continuing her hands' course down her body, ghosting lightly over his own. Artemis used this distraction to try and get away again, but he stopped her short, reaching out and grabbing her elbows. She continued as far as she could go, getting right into the face of a suspiciously familiar looking mug that reminded Wally of the one she'd flat faced at Dick's speakeasy.

He pulled her back and she nimbly spun across the floor towards him, relaxing into his grasp when he refused to move any further. She tilted her head back, letting her torso follow as Wally ran a hand down her side, eliciting a gasp from the blonde. The two pulled up, Artemis spinning away again, but this time giving Wally a wink on her way out. She spun back in and wrapped her arms around his neck. He used her momentum to pick her up and balance her on his hip, leaning to the left to allow her free movement. Artemis kicked out towards a necking couple nearby and jumped off of Wally's hip, his strong arms guiding her down to one knee on the floor.

The two stared at each other, a fraction of an inch apart, breathless. Wally desperately wanted to close the distance between their lips, but instead he pulled her up, setting her on two feet and backing away slightly.

**o.o.o**

The two stood in silence for a moment, flushed and sweating and catching their breath, before Artemis spoke.

"So... what? You're just going to pretend we didn't battle it out for dominance there? You aren't going to tell me to let you be the one in control and that I should just scat because you made a big mistake?"

Bluntness. That seemed to be her forte right now, though she hadn't been able to hide the slight crack in her voice.

Wally's eyes darted up to her in concern and confusion.

"Uh... do you _want _me to do those things?"

The two seemed unaware of the new song that was about to begin, the first few violin notes floating out to the floor.

"Most men do," Artemis grumbled, looking away from him bitterly. Why did this whole situation matter so damn much to her? What was it that was making Wallace West feel so different?

It frustrated her—_he _frustrated her—to no end.

"Well, bearcat, I think it's safe to say you're not the typical dame," he began, stepping closer to her. She opened her mouth, stung by his words, but he continued. "And I'm sure not your typical fella, so what say you forget about all those cats that left you high and dry and we'll dance ourselves into a stupor, 'cause I'm not going anywhere."

She felt like there was a lump in her throat, but she didn't get a chance to respond with another dimple carving smirk or a snarky retort, because the hot thrum of a hundred other dancers around them suddenly became oppressive, drawing her closer to him for fear she might get trampled—or worse, get caught between a goofy couple lost in each others eyes as they twirled languidly to the slow song.

He guided her hand to his shoulder and placed his own on her back, pulling her flush to his body to avoid the other couples filing onto the hardwood. Artemis let Wally lead, reeling at the fact that he had not abandoned her, left her cold on the dance floor. The musky evergreen aroma that resonated off of him clouded her vision like the effect of some sort of dope, and that combined with the realization that she might be coming to care about him(in whatever bizarre way) made her head spin.

"Artemis?" Wally asked, pulling her out of her reverie. "Are you alright? You look kind of... foggy..."

He insisted quietly that they return to their table for air while they waited for the floor to be a bit less crowded, and she let him lead her to the edge of the dance floor, weaving their way in and out of mesmerized couples. She was so out of it that she even let him pull out her chair for her. She sat down and placed her hat on the table, only to be confronted with a meaty mitt reaching down to snatch it from the surface.

"West, you had better keep your moll in line!" Logan the Bruno snarled. It seemed the mug that Artemis had spun out in front of while they danced, the one that had looked so similar to Logan, _was _Logan, and he was looking livid. He had appeared at their table seemingly out of nowhere, and the arm that was not lifting the trilby was around that of a redhead that looked suspiciously like Meg. Wally shoved his chair back to confront the bruno, but he was blocked with a mass of blonde hair in his face.

"First off, asshole, that's the last time you get to call me a whore. Second, I won that hat, fair and square. Third, how did you even get into this place?" Artemis demanded, taking full advantage of Logan's rather squat stature to get closer to his face. Logan grinned, his breath smelling of hard liquor and onions. Artemis' face twisted in response to the rancid smell; it was a far cry from the hypnotic scent Wally was harboring. Logan merely laughed harshly and put the trilby on his head, walking passed Artemis toward the exit with a roguish wink.

"You'll learn very quickly, chippy," he leered hotly in her ear, his putrid, fishy breath ghosting across the shell,"That I can get _anywhere _I want, and get _anything _I want. Ya follow?"

She followed alright. Logan was the biggest creep she'd ever had the misfortune of crossing, and she sure as hell wasn't missing the not-so-subtle sexual threats his words carried, either.

Or the sudden squeeze to her derriere.

Artemis gave a startled yelp, immediately feeling her face heat with barely contained rage at being groped by this complete asshole, and embarrassment for the way she heard a few guys at the table across from theirs laughing at her. Wally had been preoccupied with staring intently at the redhead clinging to the rube's arm like a prize, as if maybe he thought he knew her from somewhere, but the moment the cry had tumbled unbidden passed Artemis' ruby lips he'd snapped to full attention, his mouth dropping open.

Artemis was about to go in for the kill when Wally yelled, "Hey! Get your mitts off her!" and strode up to the taller man, landing a punch square on his jaw. Logan spun around with the force of impact almost comically, regaining his footing at the last second. He found himself facing a very angry blonde and an even angrier redhead.

"You've got a lot to learn about respecting women, Futz," Wally lifted his fist again, a grimace engraved into his features as his eyes flashed in loathing. Logan scrambled into a fighting stance, his hands clenching.

"Wally," Artemis spoke up lightly, placing her hand gently over the redhead's fist to withhold the imminent throw. She didn't need Wally picking her fights for her, and she certainly didn't need this cat thinking she couldn't handle herself. Artemis hoped Wally thought she didn't want to continue the conflict so that she could throw a punch or two in before her date dragged her off for being a menace.

The blonde's gigolo turned in surprise to question her actions, when he saw the glint in her eyes.

"You know Logan," Wally smirked at the bruno, his fist dropping in favor of wrapping it affectionately around Artemis's waist. "I think I'll let the lady teach you a thing or two."

Artemis nearly felt her anger at Logan dissipate as she glanced at Wally in disbelief. He had guessed what she wanted to do... and was standing back to _let _her?

_Well_. She could deal with that.

"LINCOLN'S BEARD!" Logan exclaimed, dropping like a sack of rocks as his hands flew up to hold his face where Artemis had landed a hit square on his nose. Blood spurted from between his digits, spattering across the previously clean floor. His ginger haired sheba had fled the scene, leaving him bleeding on the ballroom floor and murmuring to himself.

Wallace yanked the trilby off his fat head and handed it back to Artemis, who in turn grinned and winked at him as she looped her arm with his. They turned on their heels, heading for the exit.

"Crazy quiff," Logan muttered murderously behind them, beginning to pick himself up. His voice was nasally because he was pinching his schnozzle with a thumb and forefinger. "You better run. Cause the moment your sugar daddy's not around to protect you, I'll be playing chin music on your face, you bitch!"

Artemis started to react, but before she could do more than turn, Wally spun around and walked calmly back to Logan as if he were merely taking a stroll in the park.. Artemis furrowed her brow, wondering what he was doing. Suddenly, Wallace was upon Logan, kicking viciously, aiming for any part of the fallen man's body that would cause permanent damage. Artemis stood dumbfounded, silently observing the—mostly—considerate man she had met at the speakeasy go to town on the inhibited bouncer lying on the floor.

Wally gave Logan one final kick to the ribs, and quickly walked back to Artemis, drawing her out of the hall and into the stifling Gotham night air as people stared after them, stricken by the violence.

Artemis felt her heartbeat slow from the raging pulse it had garnered from her anger, her mind easing as she found herself leaning into the arm around her waist.

"Where'd you learn to play chin music like that, Artemis?" Wally inquired when they were a sufficient amount of steps away from the glowing lights of _The Atlantis Ballroom_. She felt his body jerk with a laugh, and he cast her this sideways smile that nearly outshined the streetlights as they passed. "That was music to my ears, babe!"

She rolled her eyes and dug her elbow into his side, but otherwise ignored the question entirely. She couldn't answer that question... not now, not ever. She cleared her throat and turned the spotlight onto him instead.

"Why'd you give him The Broderick like that?" she voiced, her eyes trained away from Wally's face, not wanting to see his expression. He was silent for a moment in thought, beginning to walk towards the pier as he mulled it over.

"Because of what he said," Wally's voice was tight, but his words were simple, full of conviction. "No woman deserves to be insulted like that."

Artemis felt her heart clench with a strange, warm feeling for the man at her side. But when she sucked in a deep breath to clear her mind, she was overwhelmed with the smell of his cologne. Or maybe it wasn't cologne. The scent that surrounded the redhead seemed to be a mix of soft spices and fresh air, and Artemis was certain that colonge only came in 'rich money' and 'sharp vodka'.

Her eyelids drooped in comfort as she melted into the leisurely gait and Wally's snug hold. She nearly didn't notice when they stepped upon the boardwalk but the chill wind and moonlit sky informed her.

"I'm sorry we didn't get much dancing in," Wally spoke up, and Artemis could tell out of the corner of her eye that he was blushing, "But I can make it up to you!" He turned his head to face her, grinning sheepishly, "How about Tuesday? You free Tuesday?"

Artemis would have stumbled had Wally not been holding her around the waist. He was asking her on another date? _After the mess this one had turned into? _It was safe to say that she was _shocked_. Totally and thoroughly.

Wally's hopeful face slowly fell as Artemis let his offer sink in, taking her silence as a rejection.

"But, I mean, I did kind of coax you into this and I underst-"

"Tuesday sounds good," the blonde responded quickly, cutting him off before his frown drooped any lower, a small smile settling on her lips and excitement budding in her chest.

_Was this what it felt like to take a chance?_

"Yeah?" Wally perked up immediately, his grin stretching wide.

And he looked so _damn _handsome framed against the yellow moon with his freckles stretched across his face by that _stupid _grin that she _had _to do something. So Artemis made a sudden decision—and probably a dumb one, at that—and swiftly reached her hands up to entwine with his wild red hair, pulling his face down to her height and crushing her lips to his own.

Wally responded after only a minor hesitation, the hand around her waist tightening its purchase as his free hand slipped up to cradle Artemis's jaw. She smiled as she pressed her lips more firmly against his, releasing the tight grip on his bright tufts of hair in favor of spreading her fingers out to weave along his scalp.

The redhead swept his tongue across her bottom lip teasingly, testing for permission. Artemis relented and opened her mouth, sighing in delight as their tongues curled against each other, dancing and flitting around to explore each other fully. She felt him breathe harshly out through his nose in yearning as his grip grew stronger and he pulled her flush against his chest.

And Artemis's heart fluttered against her bosom with such a new and unusual feeling that she had to pull back, her mouth agape as she met Wally's vibrant eyes. She wondered if he'd felt it, too.

But that was a stupid question. Maybe it was something she'd eaten? Because _surely _that strange lightness wasn't Wally's doing.

"We'll save some for the second date?" Wally joked, pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek and pulling her once more to his side.

"If you're lucky," Artemis quipped, wrapping her arm around his back to slip a hand in his rear trouser pocket. She grinned when he looked momentarily stunned, half of her berating herself for doing yet _another _stupid thing that would push him away. But Wally laughed and took it in stride, looking proud at the idea that she had staked her claim on him.

She was never going to understand him, much less _herself_.

Artemis bit her lip in confusion when he wasn't looking, contemplating the strange lightheartedness that became inspired by Wally.

_No_, he certainly wasn't a typical fella.

**o.o.o.o**

**Vocab used:**

_skirt_- an attractive woman

_bruno_- bouncer; enforcer; tough guy

_flop_- to go to bed

_rummy_- drunken bum

_skee_- scotch whiskey

_moxie_- courage, nerve, or vigour

_cake-eater_- a ladies man

_Dumb Dora_- an absolute idiot, a dumbbell

'_Attaboy!- _well done

_dragging_- dancing

_sap_- a fool; an idiot; a dumb guy

_futz_- euphemism for fuck (as in "Don't futz around.")

_crate_- car

_breezer_- convertible

_caper_- a criminal act or robbery

_Chicago lightning_- gunfire

_bum's rush_- ejection by force from an establishment

_mug_- men (especially refers to dumb ones)

_hash house_- a cheap restaurant

_splifficated_- drunk

_fuzz_- the police

_bo_- pal, fella, buddy, friend

_bearcat_- a hot-blooded or fiery girl

_noodle_- head

_dewdropper_- a young man who sleeps all day and doesn't have a job

_cat's meow_- a highly admired person or thing

_dolled up_- dressed up

_nookie_- sex

_punch the bag_- small talk

_get a wiggle on_- get a move on, get going

_hop_- teen party or dance

_bee's knees_- same as cat's meow

_cutting a rug_- energetic dancing; to dance really well and impress others

_heap_- car

_lollygagger_- a young man who enjoys making out; an idle person

_cheaters_- sunglasses

_gigolo_- dancing partner

_hair of the dog_- a shot of liquor/alcohol

_egg_- a person who lives the big life

_ducky_- very good

_heeler_- a bad dancer

_hoofer_- dancer

_Oliver Twist_- a skilled dancer

_smudger_- a close dancer

_neck_- to kiss passionately; what today would be called "French kissing"

_goofy_- in love

_dope_- drug

_moll_- a gangster's female companion; a prostitute

_chippy_- a woman of easy virtue; a whore

_Reuben/rube_- an unsophisticated country bumpkin

_mitts_- hands

_sheba_- a girlfriend; a woman with sex appeal

_quiff_- a slut or prostitute

_schnozzle_- nose

_sugar daddy_- older boyfriend who showers his girlfriend with gifts in exchange for sex

_Broderick, The_- a thorough beating


End file.
